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By Theodor Etzel and Hanns Heinz Ewers 1901 (TE)
(Der Affe und die Rinder)
From “Ein Fabelbuch”
Translated by Joe E. Bandel
Copyright 2009 by Joe E. Bandel
Protected under United States Copyright Law as a derivative work of a foreign Author originally published prior to 1923

The Monkey And The Herd Of Cattle

The miraculous trained monkey from the nearby circus ran into the barn precisely around noon. The cattle lay far and wide in their own shit enjoying themselves with idiotic cud chewing. They took the last eaten fodder and regurgitated it once more into their mouths to more thoroughly chew and digest it properly.

The clever monkey thought he would perform for the cattle and gave his best doing some very queer things. He danced the minuet, stood on his head, ran in circles, and did summersaults, cartwheels and death defying leaps.

The oxen, the cows and even the young calves stared stupidly at him–as if they could do such things. There was no loud applause–only the strong movement of their jaws as they started chewing again. The monkey watched as they all went back to chewing and asked the nearest ox:

“What does it mean when you dance all the time with your jaws, grind your teeth and flick your tongues? Good heavens! It is the only sound in this entire muggy cattle pen!”

The ox laughed out of its mouth so the entire barn could hear, “You stupid show-off, you! Is that all you can do? Did you think you could dazzle and bewilder us with your antics when you don’t even understand about chewing your cud? You call us cattle dumb–and yet every calf can do so much more than you can! You see, your skill is only half of it!”

The monkey thought he could show them how clever he was, yet the cattle’s broad laughter followed him in the distance as he left.

By Theodor Etzel and Hanns Heinz Ewers 1901 (TE)

(Maikafer und Spinne)

From “Ein Fabelbuch”
Translated by Joe E. Bandel
Copyright 2009 by Joe E. Bandel
Protected under United States Copyright Law as a derivative work of a foreign Author originally published prior to 1923

cockchafer

The Cockchafers and the Spider

A cockchafer sat in a tree eating leaf after leaf. He ate so many that you would scarcely believe it and he never got fat. Close by his wife was also contentedly feasting. After the meal the husband crept up and mounted the body of his beloved.

The spider watched for a long time and frowned. Then she spoke:

“Oh, you carousers, you! Is that all you ever do! Who can prosper in life with such riotous behavior. The hangman is all that you are suited for! Look at me. I reside here chaste and pure, living for myself alone and eat only what flies into my net by itself. That is why I stay healthy and will live a –“

Before she could say “long” a finch flew into her web and for amusement devoured her and then splat! There she fell, already digested onto the grass- a drop of shit…

- – The cockchafers laughed loudly:

“There lies a moralist!”

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