The Young Hound by Hanns Heinz Ewers/Theodor Etzel

By Theodor Etzel and Hanns Heinz Ewers 1901 (HHE)
(Der junge Hund)
From “Ein Fabelbuch”
Translated by Joe E. Bandel
Copyright 2009 by Joe E. Bandel
Protected under United States Copyright Law as a derivative work of a foreign Author originally published prior to 1923

The Young Hound

A young hound once bravely plunged into the river. He splashed along the shore enjoying his newfound skill. A beaver was watching him—

“Hey, look at me, Herr Chew Master, I can really swim!”

The beaver spoke with mild scorn, “Yes, friend, you can really swim. But it’s not pretty!”

So what, the hound thought. He is certainly grumpy! The old water architect must have had a bad breakfast! The beaver left.

Then up came a puffed up turkey-cock. When he saw the hound swimming he shouted out loud:

“Hurrah! How splendidly you can swim. No frog can do any better, no fish or no goose. You are — and no one can deny this — the best swimmer of all time!”

The hound listened to the turkey-cock and his praise. Then it hung its tail very sadly and mournfully left.

When a wise man chides you — — He might be envious and bad tempered!

When an idiot praises you — then it’s really bad!

Yes, if Servaes or Brandes tells me:

“This book is shit!” — I won’t despair; yet if Gottschall praises it —
Then I will quickly throw the beautiful book into a frog pond.

The critics may have the last word, yet I am driver of the bus!

The Young Hound

The Stork by Hanns Heinz Ewers

By Theodor Etzel and Hanns Heinz Ewers 1901 (HHE)
(Der Marabu)
From “Ein Fabelbuch”
Translated by Joe E. Bandel
Copyright 2009 by Joe E. Bandel
Protected under United States Copyright Law as a derivative work of a foreign Author originally published prior to 1923

The Stork

In the evening sunshine an old stork stood proudly on one leg in the Tschoupitalas swamp. He brooded.

“Is it possible? Can the world become illuminated through Buddha’s old wisdom newly cloaked in the Neo-theosophical garments brought here so recently by Madame Blavatsky?

Is that really the new symbol of the light that used to shine so beautifully over Calcutta? ―Who knows, perhaps God traveled to newer ground, entered into Sören Kierkegaard to show the world a different paradise just as He did for August Comte and Herbert Spencer.

―Perhaps― I almost fear it! ―The arrival, the storm, of the multitudes that sing Nietsche’s song, brandishing their torches and thrusting them into the heavens!

Perhaps―――“

Then his wise glance fell over the swamp. He shuddered in disgust:

The frogs croaked, how ignorant they lived and yet enjoyed such kingly lives!

――His thoughts were interrupted:

“Miserable rabble! The thick mire is so to your taste! ―What is Buddha to you? What troubles do you have? What wise thoughts? It’s so easy for you to come and go as you are! You crawl through the mud and rotting grass, the thick filth is your life’s purpose. You are and remain a toad folk in the mire!”

―― Then a young frog laughed:

“And you, Herr Philosopher and wise stork? You, great light of the Priesthood, deepest thinker of them all, most mighty, learned, radiant and proud of animals:

―― You are stuck here in the same swamp that we are!”

The Cockchafers and the Spider

By Theodor Etzel and Hanns Heinz Ewers 1901 (TE)

(Maikafer und Spinne)

From “Ein Fabelbuch”
Translated by Joe E. Bandel
Copyright 2009 by Joe E. Bandel
Protected under United States Copyright Law as a derivative work of a foreign Author originally published prior to 1923

The Cockchafers and the Spider

A cockchafer sat in a tree eating leaf after leaf. He ate so many that you would scarcely believe it and he never got fat. Close by his wife was also contentedly feasting. After the meal the husband crept up and mounted the body of his beloved.

The spider watched for a long time and frowned. Then she spoke:

“Oh, you carousers, you! Is that all you ever do! Who can prosper in life with such riotous behavior. The hangman is all that you are suited for! Look at me. I reside here chaste and pure, living for myself alone and eat only what flies into my net by itself. That is why I stay healthy and will live a –“

Before she could say “long” a finch flew into her web and for amusement devoured her and then splat! There she fell, already digested onto the grass- a drop of shit…

- – The cockchafers laughed loudly:

“There lies a moralist!”

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